I'm jealous of your bromance
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Randomize
