you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
