Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
