She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
