I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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