I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
