She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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