you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
