Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Randomize
