i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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