i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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