I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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