She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
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