I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
