Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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