i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my phone needs a breathalizer
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
