Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
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