I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Randomize
