We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
