I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
