you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
Randomize
