Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
