Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
These tits shall not be calmed
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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