doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
