I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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