she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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