So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
