You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
