You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
