If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
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