Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
