What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
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