he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
