mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
