I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
