we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
