I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
