I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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