Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
