I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize
