You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
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