Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
