Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
Randomize
