I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
