I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
