1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
You can't motorboat a personality
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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