you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
Randomize
