remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Duck Duck Cougar?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
