I'm jealous of your bromance
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
