thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
