Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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