I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
