My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
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