Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
